This chest pain seems to kill me more than I think it does. Most of us don't realize what alone means until we are actually alone. Crying your eyes out in the bathroom, sitting in the tub with your legs out because you are scared of the pain just isn't enough for me anymore. I can't shout, I can't rip my hair out, I can't live. I have no one to explain my life to. No one will listen to my mistakes. I fear everything I see- things that are surrounding me, things that are very far away from me. Its all the same.
I'm not safe.
Who's gonna trust me if I can't trust myself? I wish I could say you. I wish you could make this easier for me. Easier for me to recover. You just make it harder. Night and Day. I wish I could actually get some sleep tonight. I don't want to stay up all night fearing the upcoming day, and thinking that the night will never end. Although, that's my wish. I want things to go back to normal. More than you do. And don't tell me no, because this isn't you in the first place. It's me. Its my turn.
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