Outcast? Totally. (halfway-through-novel: Speak By Laurie Halse Anderson

        The book "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson is a very interesting novel. A freshman in MerryWeather High school named Melinda  Sordino becomes a complete outcast in a time where all of her friends leave her after she did something "unforgivable" through their eyes.

        Melinda is hiding a secret, and nobody knows what it is. She has no one to tell, except her only friend, Heather from Ohio. But Melinda doesn't tell heather the reason of why she called the cops at an end-of-the-summer party. So Melinda became the outcast she is. I realized that Melinda carries around many emotions along with her hardships. I found a poem called "Outcast" By Timothy Venard. It represents Melinda's life.

VERSE 1:
What lies outside my bars, 
Where the wild beast run free? 
Why am I forced to lurk in the shadows, 
And never to show who I really am? 
While ostentations peers, 
Amaze and amuse their friends




*** I think the first verse of this poem represents the lies she had to give her parents, and the lies she almost had to give to her parents, and the lies she almost had to say.  For example, on Halloween, she had to pretend to be mad and stomped up to her room when her parents told her that she was too old to go trick-or-treating. She had to pretend like it wasn't fair, when inside she was glad, because no one had invited to anything. She would've had to lie of having plans to be in a group of friends, when she has no friends- except Heather from Ohio. In the poem the line "Why am i forced to lurk in the shadows, and never to show who i really am?" relates to Melinda very well. Melinda has no way to speak the truth of what happened at that summer party. And lurking in the shadows for her would be spending time in her hiding place, an old janitor's closet in the senior wing of the school building. She makes it hers, personalizes it, and uses it when she needs to think.  She has to find a way to be cool, go back to her friends, according to the book.


VERSE 2:
Who am I?
I am the beast
I am locked up
I am unable to be accepted


*** I think the second verse of this poem represents Melinda's life becuase 

hello

I could stick around and get along with you, hello. 
It doesn't really mean that I'm into you, hello. 
You're alright but I'm here, darling, to enjoy the party. 
Don't get too excited 'cause that's all you get from me, hey. 
Yeah, I think you're cute, but I really think that you should know. 
I just came to say hello, hello, hello, hello. 

I'm not the kinda girl to get messed up with you, hello. 
I'ma let you try to convince me to, hello. 
It's alright I'm getting dizzy just enjoy the party. 
It's OK with me if you don't have that much to say, hey. 
Kinda like this game but there's something you should know. 
I just came to say hello, hello, hey, hey. 

Remember Me? (writing Prompt)

Remember Me?
My name is Gossip.
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning, malicious and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and wreck marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion.
I spawn suspicion and generate grief.
I make innocent people cry on their pillows.
Even my name hisses.
I am called GOSSIP.
Office gossip-Shop gossips-Party gossip-Telephone Gossip. I make headlines and headaches.
REMEMBER, before you repeat a story, ask yourself:
Is it true? is it fair? Is it necessary??
If not, do not repeat.
KEEP QUIET.
GREAT minds discuss ideas...
Average minds discuss events...
Shallow minds discuss people...
Which are you?

By Ann Landers


This poem is about gossip, obviously. But it transports so fast, especially in school. Middle school, rumors are started faster than it takes you to snap. And everybody knows everything and anything before you can even blink. I think how much gossip you take in and let out can affect your coming of age.
The poem says gossip ruins your reputation, but I think coming of age comes with it too. There's a quote that says "All people love gossip until it's about them.:" I don't know who it's by, but it's definitely true.
 Gossip can lead you to so many things:
1) lies
2) hatred
3) misunderstandings
4) misinterpretation
5) losts (losing friendships)

And these are all things we wanna stay as far away from, as much as possible.

What I believe

Dreams- Kristan Booker

Sometimes your dreams are all you have to follow
Don't let anyone tell you they're empty and hollow
Your dreams will keep you and your hopes high
Sometimes your dreams are what will keep you alive
Dreams can be what you have while you're asleep
They also can be what you're aspiring to be
Dreams can be joyous,full of love and care
Or they can be sad and become a nightmare
It's okay to let them put your head in the clouds
But also be sure to keep your feet on the ground
Don't let your dreams go right down the drain
Your dreams can do alot even lead you to fame
Don't give up on your dreams they can come true
All you need is to have faith in your heart and in you
It's so amazing what can happen when you believe
So remember to live your life and to live your dreams


At the moment, dreams are meaning a lot to me. This is because they seem more real than ever. And I don't know why. One that stood out to me was one where I was in a really big fight with most of my closest friends about 3 years ago. And last week (i think, Saturday before mother's day) I saw two of them. One of them was really involved in our fight, more like the leader of our fight (Samantha), and the other one was in it, but with her it was just, more behind the scenes(Danila). And so i was trying to watch a parade, and then sun was in my eyes, and I couldn't see. And just when the music is about to start playing, I hear " Hi Celina." I turned around to see Samantha. Her face red, and wet, and her hair wet, wearing a black sweater. And next to her, smiling is Danila. Danila waves and I feel forced to say hi back to her, but not to Samantha. I even hug Danila. I can't even see Samantha anymore. But while i'm hugging Danila I see Samantha roll her eyes at me, and lift her arms up, as if saying "why?" And I see her cry. Tears in her eyes. And then I'm the one crying, she's the one smiling and just like that, Samantha leaves. Danila Leaves with her, mouthing "I'm sorry."


I wish I could go back and apologize, replace this dream with one of our best memories as friends. Dreams. I'm not letting go.

What Means The Most

Writing about my childhood brings up so many types of emotions. It makes me feel foolish and Happy. But it also brings me to tears knowing that I won't be able to go back to playground slides, strollers, messy writing, Barbie dolls, picture books, and little homework.

Now, I'm not supposed to have the training wheels on. They're off, and i'm supposed to be running.

And like every other teenager, I'm staying up late to do my homework, getting home a few minutes late from school, and getting in trouble a little more often. It might seem like too much, but it's actually not. Our responsibilities match our ages, and so we never are supposed to deal with more than we can. But sometimes we do, and it makes sense to sometimes feel like it, because we are maturing. And we aren't expected to act our age, we are expect to act a year or two older.

 

But we can't miss out on the precious years that are kept in sync with our brains, that keep us remembering who we are. And so I realize that keeping my memories is something really special & important for me.

And this topic of coming of age, brings me back to the 4th Grade.

Ah, my 4th grade year. It was the second year of playing the recorder in school, and I always looked forward to my music class. Music was on Wednesdays. Music was the class I wouldn't miss for anything in my life, until I lost my recorder, here at home. And so I made every possible excuse to stay home for almost every single Wednesday for two months, until I found my recorder. "mom, I've got a fever", "mom, my stomach hurts", "Mom, can I go to the doctors?", "Mom, half my teachers aren't going to be at school today, can I just not go?". Yeah, excuses, excuses, excuses. And then I also had to plan a reason to not be at after school music classes either, and not being there drowned me, since it was the only thing I enjoyed the most about those two days.

But some wednesdays, when my mom managed to get me to school wednesdays, I had to sit out for music class. And just hurt to see 50 loud minutes go to waste doodling in my music notebook. But on one of those wednesdays, The New York pops came to my school. They presented us with a book called Rhythm, Rhyme & Rap. And we studied different forms of rhythm, different ways to rhyme, and we learned how to rap. 

My group (group 5) was presented with a poem called "when I grow up" by Mary Ann Hoberman.

The Poem "When I grow Up" is planted very clearly in my mind. I know the words by heart. I was so fond of this poem, and nothing reminded me more about coming of age project but this poem:

"When I grow Up" ---- Mary Ann Hoberman

When I grow up, I want to be

A grown-up who remembers me

And what it felt like to be small:

How much I liked to bounce a ball

And pump my swing high in the air

And think of flying everywhere.

How scared I was of doors that creak

Or being it in Hide-and seek

Or if my friends* had a fight

Or when I had bad dreams at night.

How much I hated loud machines

and Slimy worms and Lima beans

What fun it was to dig a hole,

To make a cake and lick the bowl,

To ride my bike all afternoon,

To plan on going to them moon,

To find an egg inside a nest

And have my best friend like me best.

*friends- actually, the word in the poem is "parents", but to fit my life better, I changed it to friends. :D

This represents her childhood in so few words. But it means so much. These are the things that eventually, we will have to stop doing if we haven't so. But this poem is saying "hey, don't forget who you are. Who you were  and who you will always be".